


Lost Without You

by JefferyHeyJeffery



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Feels, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 23:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16315112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JefferyHeyJeffery/pseuds/JefferyHeyJeffery
Summary: Markus sat on top of the old abandoned building, quietly overlooking the hustle and bustle of the androids aboard Jericho. It was peaceful and beautiful in a way, with sunlight catching the lapping waves just right, and wisps of clouds floating through the sky, the quiet hum of voices reached his ears, muffled by the distance.He knew that there was much more to come but right now, it was calm and his people were safe and content and healthy. They were happy.So why wasn’t he?





	Lost Without You

Markus sat on top of the old abandoned building, quietly overlooking the hustle and bustle of the androids aboard Jericho. It was peaceful and beautiful in a way, with sunlight catching the lapping waves just right, and wisps of clouds floating through the sky, the quiet hum of voices reached his ears, muffled by the distance.

He knew that there was much more to come but right now, it was calm and his people were safe and content and healthy. They were happy.

So why wasn’t he?

It troubled him, this feeling of emptiness and a sore ache of old sorrow. He felt as though his heart had something wrong with it, but a quick diagnostics check proved to him that all of his biocomponents were in perfect working condition.

This dull pain started when he was forced to leave Simon on that cold rooftop. Alone, abandoned, scared, and left to die.

A part of him, that human part of him, knew that this feeling- this emotion- was depression.

He’d seen Carl in bouts of depression before, he wouldn’t get out of bed and when Markus managed to get him up, the elderly man would hardly eat, commenting on how he just wasn’t hungry. Carl wouldn’t paint then and even if he tried he would just silently stare at a white canvas for hours, until he decided to retire to bed.

Those times were troubling to Markus. Seeing the man in such a state, Markus would fear that Carl would never manage to break out of it. But eventually he would. It only took time.

So then, all Markus needed was time, right?

Right?

-

When androids slept, they had what humans might consider dreams. Minor organizations of memory rippling through the dark surface of blackened rest.

Markus used to dream of painting so long ago when he lived with Carl. Of art and wonderment, blank canvases and splattered paint.

But now he couldn’t seem to close his eyes without seeing the haunting pale blues or soft blonde hair, covered in a light dusting of snow. Pale lips dripping with thirium. Gunshots ripping though the air.

So Markus decided there were more important things to do with his time rather than sleep.

-

North kept pressuring Markus to fight fire with fire and as time went on, and more of their people were gunned down, it was hard not to see her point. Humans were stubborn and needlessly cruel. Some days it felt like there was no hope. Some days it felt like Markus was the one pulling the trigger on his people when they were executed in the streets with no way to defend themselves.

If North was the devil on his shoulder, then Josh was his angel. As they talked behind him, forcing him to make a decision that they wanted, pulling his thoughts on the matter in two, he would desperately wish for Simon to be there. The blonde had always supported Markus no matter what he did. He gave gentle influence and he never made Markus feel like he was being forced to choose between two evils.

At night, instead of sleeping, when he was too tired to walk around and check up on the people of Jericho, Markus would stare at his dark ceiling and wonder if what he was doing was right. If he would ever be able to make a difference when he kept getting good people like Simon killed in his fight.

Their blood was on his hands and each report of death wore heavily on his conscious, dragging him further into that deep nothing growing ever larger in his chest.

>-

When North kissed him in the control room, he felt… he felt nothing. Just a press of synthetic skin against his. But that was all that a kiss was, after all, nothing more than a movement, an action to show affection.

And he has always held an affinity for North, as with Josh and every other android he has had the pleasure of meeting in his short life. So, yes, the kiss served its purpose and showed his love for her.

He held her hand and dove into her consciousness for a second and what he found there was peculiar. A warmth filled her chest and she looked at him as though he were something more than beautiful. More than any painting or sculpture.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she felt his heart in turn, it wasn't nothing, instead it was a cold hollow bitter thing. Edges contrasting the void with a raging vibrancy of hope and determination. A strength to free their people. Passion, loyalty, and unwavering dedication. But there was no warmth spreading from his chest, nothing needy or wanting from him. Just an odd sort of connectedness, of friendship and closeness.

But it wasn’t love- at least not the type she wanted from him- and North wasn’t sure how she knew that but she did. She gently pushed Markus away so she could go to her room, be alone, analyze this rejection. So he wouldn’t see her cry.

Markus stayed rooted in his, completely confused, wondering what he did wrong. Wondering what about him was broken.

-

He sunk Jericho. He sunk the first safe haven androids ever had. The only home for so many. The place where he met Simon.

In the back of his mind, Markus had always thought that Simon might come back one day. Might find him again. He would walk in as if nothing was ever wrong and Markus could tell him all the things he was never given the chance to.

But now that weak hope crumbled into dust as the old boat sunk into the bay. Fire filling the starry sky, black smoke blotting out the moon.

-

Hundreds more died in the subsequent march.

Gunned down where they waited and prayed and hoped and dreamed. Turned to crumpled heaps of synthetic skin and metal in the wake of human militia.

In the face of imminent defeat, surrounded by an aggressive army, he and a dozen others sang. A song of hope and withstanding. A solemn melody, voices risen for all of those who gave their lives, gave their freedom, gave their everything, for those still standing.

A miracle happened then, the humans backed off, choosing not to kill the remaining handful of deviants.

A miracle happened and they earned their freedom.

-

After the speech, Connor handed Markus an address and a small electronic key before he headed off to do whatever it was that he had to do. “This man… he mentioned you when I questioned him. He needs repairs but it’s nothing you can’t do. I’m sorry that I didn’t save him sooner, back when I had the chance, but it’s not too late, I promise.” He clapped Markus on the shoulder and gave him a small smile before walking away.

Markus glanced down at the small paper in his hands, one eyebrow raised. He lifted his head and called after the ex-deviant hunter, “Thank you, Connor! For everything!”

Connor looked back, grinning now, “Anytime! And the password is ‘fuckingpassword’!”

-

Markus looked questioningly at the note in his hands. The address was to the Detroit police station, bottom floor. Oddly enough the door to the place was open, it made him think that even the police fled the city in a rush.

He lightly scoffed at that idea, it felt ridiculous to him that a peaceful protest could trigger such a panic. He rolled his eyes and pushed through the front door.

The place was quiet, papers scattered across desks and donuts were left out on a nearby counter. A quick scan revealed that there was no human left in the large building.

Markus found the basement doors easily enough and he made his way down the steps. The archive room was just an open, empty area with a large computer in the center, guarded by a gate. He pulled out the key then typed in the odd password.

The back wall shifted and slid to reveal evidence from a myriad of crime scenes. Multiple bodies hung on the walls silently, decommissioned and broken.

His heart dropped as he saw who was propped up on the far left. Pale blonde hair, a bullet wound to the leg, eyes closed, thirium spilling down his neck.

Markus sprinted up to Simon, heart pounding, hands shaking as he gently lifted the androids head to see the damage. A clean bullet hole went from the bottom of his chin to out the top of his head. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He felt like he was punched in the stomach. Unbidden tears streamed down his face and he distractedly wiped them away.

His heart was starting to break all over again, “Who did this to you?” Markus brokenly whispered, staring up at Simon’s pale and still irrevocably beautiful face.

Markus took a step away from the body, trying to take in deep breaths to keep from feeling like he was dying.

He could fix this.

Connor said that Simon could be fixed.

Connor promised.

Markus scanned his body, revealing a missing neck cable. He spun around the room, desperately looking for a cord somewhere nearby.  He spotted one in another PL600 model and walked cautiously up to the android. The poor man looked like he'd been shot in multiple places. Like so many others in this recent battle.

“I'm sorry,” Markus muttered to the PL600, before gently taking the cable, careful to not damage it in any way.

He walked back to Simon, hand shaking so much worse now as he looked at the hole in Simon’s head, wondering how it could even be possible that he would wake up. How he would ever be able to function again.

Markus held his breath as he clicked the cord into place. There was a soft whir, almost nonexistent, but there. Then the thrum of biocomponents beating and working.

Then… then Simon's eyes flickered open. There was something wrong with them, he still had his pale blues but there was a pitch black around the edges. “Who's there?” He called out, voice so scared and small.

Markus felt like he could breathe again as some unknown pressure lifted off of his chest.  “Simon, Simon it's me-"

“No!” Simon flinched away harsly, breathing roughly, “You aren't Markus. You- You tricked me before and I'm not falling for it again. What more do you want from me? You already know where Jericho is, now just leave me be!”

“No, Simon, it's me. Please, believe me-” Markus’ voice broke as he reached his hand out towards Simon’s arm. “I'll prove it to you.”

He lightly grabbed Simon’s forearm and tried his best to show- to prove- who he was.

The skin of his hand melted back and through their connection came a flood of emotion both ways. There was choking fear from Simon and Markus fought to keep from flinching away from the onslaught _IDON’TWANTTOBEALONE- DON’T LEAVE ME- PLEASEBEREAL- DON’T GO- STAYSTAYSTAYSTAYSTAYSTAY- I’MSOSORRY- IDIDN’TWANTTODIE- DON’T LEAVE ME AGAIN- STAYSTAYSTAY- I MISSED YOU- PLEASE- STAY-_

Markus curled his other hand around Simon’s- **I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE- IMISSEDYOUSOMUCH- I’M REAL- YOU’RESAFENOWIPROMISE- I’M GOING TO STAY RIGHT HERE-SWEAR TO YOU- TRUSTMESIMON- I’M HERE- I’MHERE- I’M GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE- TAKEYOUHOME- I PROMISE-**

_INEEDYOUINEEDYOUINEEDYOU-_

**INEEDYOUINEEDYOUINEEDYOU-**

Markus reached underneath Simon's armpits and took him off of that awful stand. His leg was weak, broken and fractured. He would need a replacement but they could fix that later. He braced Simon and helped him as they made their way towards the exit.

_ARE WE GOING HOME?_

**YES MY LOVE.**

Outside in the pale morning light, snow fell.

Though their connection there were no thoughts but a warm flood of emotions from Simon, a kind warmth that soothed itself through Markus’ heart and he knew what it was-

“Thank you for saving me.” Simon smiled, a small and sweet thing, and his voice was still soft but this time there was no brittle edge of fear. Some part of that void in Markus' chest ceased to be and he felt just a little bit more whole. His arms wrapped around his best friend who was battered, but he could be fixed. He was alive and he was back and that's all that mattered. 

Slowly, Simon twisted his body ever so slightly before he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Markus’ cheek.

_I LOVE YOU TOO._

**Author's Note:**

> I love these boys so much, I can't believe that this was my first time writing for them :0 They're wonderful <3 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this! ^^


End file.
